1. |
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I've been tempted to
Close my eyes
When I have to drive
To see my soul depart
Within the crash of car parts
I’ve been shutting down
And been shutting out
Those that love
Those that care for me
So I'll stay in my bed
Afraid of the whole damn world
Afraid of the whole damn thing
Swear its not suicide
Because the intent of it
Was never mine
It’d be one less thing to deal with
It’d be one less thing to deal with
I’ve been shutting down
And been shutting out
Those that love
Those that care for me
So I'll stay in my bed
Afraid of the whole damn world
Afraid of the whole damn thing
I'm just scared I’ll
Be the first friend
My friends forget
I'm just scared I’ll
Be the first friend
My friends forget
I'm just scared I’ll be
I'm just scared I’ll be
I'm just scared I’ll be
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2. |
Harvey Cedars
02:11
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Why is everything so manicured?
Constant perfection is a bore
The chronic rays of beating sun
Are the only warmth in California
I miss the sun setting over the bay
Here out west it’s not the same
Harvey Cedars you’re too far away
All my nights here have been starless
Pacific coast frankly I am unimpressed
Why did I go, what have I done?
Where’s a bagel when you need one?
I miss the sun rising over the sea
I always thought I wanted to leave
Oh I belong back out east
I miss the sun setting over the bay
Here out west it’s not the same
Harvey Cedars you’re too far away
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3. |
Tear Myself Apart
01:25
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High
In a caffeine stupor
Hatred
Not thinking of the future
Deprived
Swear it’s necessary
No it doesn't matter
I feel we’ve lost the key
Because of the obsession in the people like me
To feel like I’m worth something
I’ll have to tear myself a-
Vanity
Of a guy worth something
Comprehend
Pain hidden in the meaning
I’ll never
Be happy with myself
To the end
Can’t stop working out
I feel we’ve lost the key
Because of the obsession in the people like me
To feel like I’m worth something
I’ll have to tear myself apart
Muscles to impress
But my heart’s failing out
Pose for a picture
Then just fall apart
What am I doing?
Do you really think,
It’s gonna end well
For you?
I feel we’ve lost the key
Because of the obsession in the people like me
To feel like I’m worth something
I’ll have to tear myself apart
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4. |
Partisan
00:26
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I ain’t much of a Partisan
I talk shit, but my heart’s not in it
It‘s right, and you’s just too obtuse to see
You came lookin’ for an audience
But I promise I ain’t on the fence
Your ignorance isn’t my responsibility
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5. |
If You're Like Me
01:09
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If you’re like me
I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say
(If you’re like me)
It comes from a place of bias anyways
(If you’re like me)
You’re a hypocrite, say the things you mean
(If you’re like me)
You don’t get to have problems with honesty
(If you’re like me)
Get behind the gun for once, give yourself some power
(If you’re like me)
Pull the trigger you coward
If you’re like me
You’ve got no right to give anyone advice
(If you’re like me)
You can’t make this place a paradise
(If you’re like me)
Just get over yourself, you’ve had plenty of time to heal
(If you’re like me)
Stop being dramatic everyone knows how you feel
(If you’re like me)
You’re so much smaller than you could ever seem
(If you’re like me)
Don’t be
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6. |
Heroes
02:48
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Sing about abuse
That the world put you through
Can’t you see the irony?
I hope it wasn’t lost on you
Have you burrowed in my brain?
Causing me to cause pain?
Used to see through the same lense
Now I'm stuck here waiting for amends
All the words that I spoke
The venom I wrote
Am I doomed to speak in tongues?
A vice worthy of being shunned
Follow me around
Like a fever that won't go down
Like stones in my pockets
Pulling me under till I drown
The scars you left with me are the
Wounds that couldn't heal clean
Forced to confront your flaws
A hypocrite without apology
I’ll set fire to your words
Let that piece of myself burn
Watch them scatter and die
To the point of no return
All the words that I spoke
The venom I wrote
Am I doomed to speak in tongues?
A vice worthy of being shunned
Next time you
Stick your head out
Of the grave you’ve dug
Don’t expect my acceptance
For the things you've done
A tomb of your own design
With flowers to match
Stained with all the things you’ve always lacked
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7. |
Untitled
01:12
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“Take the high road”
That’s what they said
Well I’m pulling over now
And that should fill you with dread
Couldn’t get a woman
So you went for a child
Well I’m all grown up now
And I think that you’re vile
And that’s one for the money
Two for the show
You don’t wanna know how dark I can go
You tied a noose and gave it to me
Now I’m giving it back
I hope you find the right tree
If you want my forgiveness
Than you’re gonna have to beg
So I can laugh in your face
And light the powder keg
You’re too far gone
I know you’ll never learn
I’ll avenge my younger self
And make sure that you burn
And that’s one for the money
Two for the show
We all know that you reap what you sow
You tied a noose and gave it to me
Now I’m giving it back
I hope you find the right tree
Can you hear me now?
Look what you did
No one should ever have to feel like this
Nobody, nobody, nobody
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8. |
Preemptive Apology
03:01
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The words come out misspelled and misplaced
I can see it on your face
Leaves change and people can too
But sometimes it's better to just go
Just to go
I’m looking over my apologies
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
I’m looking over who I used to be
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
I'll pick you up from the airport
When I'm as useful as a taxi
But when it's time to confide in me
I'll be too busy feeling sorry for myself
For myself
I’m looking over my apologies
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
I’m looking over who I used to be
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
I'm a hollowed out wreck
You wouldn't believe
A dead end disaster
I’m whatever you don't want
Me to be
I’m looking over my apologies
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
I’m looking over who I used to be
Cause if I didn't
I wouldn't feel sincere
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9. |
Passion
02:09
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You drank me out of the bottle
With every sip I climbed from the bottom
It was my own fatal mistake
But one I don’t regret I made
Oh I know that you loved me
I could see it in your eyes
With you I only felt at ease
You were right to leave me behind
I don’t take favors I cant repay
I knew the risks, I’ll take the blame
Picked the wrong time to be kind
I’ll see you on the other side
Oh you’ve got the strength you need
To hold up the falling sky
Bite your lip until it bleeds
I wish I could've said goodbye
Oh I know that you loved me
(I knew the risks, I’ll take the blame)
Bite your lip until it bleeds
(I’ll see you on the other side)
Oh you’ve got the strength you need
(I can see it in your eyes)
With you I only felt at ease
I wish I could’ve said goodbye
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10. |
Alvarado
05:25
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On the corner of Sunset and Alvarado
Still a mess, but kinda hopefully
Smiling now, because I get the reference
Wondering what I really wanna be
Looking back, it's a funny notion
Everything here that always spoke to me
Thought if I dove in, I’d learn to love the ocean
Instead I'm treading water in the jealousy
Cravin’ a life that looks good on paper
Finding pleasure vicariously
Once upon a time, it wasn’t like this
And I didn't feel the need
And I'm worried if I don’t
Make my move this moment I might never live it down
Wanting to be excitable
Like Warren sang about
But I could never lack the shame
Enough to live that out
The only way
Is letting go
But I just don’t know how
Spring of 2020, and the traffic’s lazy
Oddest feeling drivin’ by The Bowl
Thinkin’ of you, and how you probly saved me
Even if I never made it to a single show
I took a chance and got a cosmic backlash
But for what, I really wouldn't know
Self-obsessed just doesn't seem to cut it
When it took awareness to become so
Sex and drugs and beneficial friendships
Honestly, I've had more than most
Doesn't stop me feeling like a loser
‘Round the cooler, hotter ghosts
God, if I don’t
Make my move this moment
I might never live it down
Wanting to be habitual
Like Chester sang about
But I could never ever
Lack the shame enough to live that out
The only way
Is letting go
But I just don’t know how
Used to wish I could sing about “These Green Mountains”
That made me who I am
But you can’t write ballads ‘bout the Elmore fire tower
‘Cause no one understands
All that seems to matter now
Is getting that applause
And here you can sing about a fucking Whole Foods
And everyone goes off
Along the line, I realized
Real people could do more
But then I lost ‘em when we all pretended
There was something else in store
I guess I wanna be your friend, ‘cause now you’re
All that’s left to help
Your music reminds me of a better time when I'da
Loved it for itself
On the corner of Scott Street and Alvarado
Still depressed, not sure if clinically
Playing catch-up on a dream I wish had
Become lucid before twenty three
Looking up, it's the wrong emotion
At everyone here who still speaks to me
I know it's dumb, but I can't kick the feeling
That they all made it under twenty three
I've heard the sound, and I know it's out there
These endless nights more than they seem
I guess the upside of a lucid nightmare
Is knowing why you scream
But if I don’t
Make my move this moment I might never live it down
Wanting to be the punisher
That Phoebe sings about
I could never, ever, ever, ever
Lack the shame enough to live that out
The only way
Is letting go
But I just don’t know how
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ALL BITE Los Angeles, California
music that’ll make you take a sip of your PBR and say “well at least they have personality”
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